Who Planned This Party?
It’s one of those nights. I’m tired but can’t sleep. That’s because I have some old friends who have dropped in to spend the night: Itchy, Grouchy, Jumpy and Heartburn. They are the kind of friends who drop by unexpected and can’t take a hint when it’s time to leave. You’d think they would, though, because I have never actually personally invite them over. They are soooooo dense!
Well … maybe I inadvertently invited Heartburn. Heartburn seems to think the door’s wide open whenever I have a pop too late at night, or for that matter when I have anything too late at night. The problem is … she’s been coming over lately even when I don’t. I try not to make eye contact but she’s pretty persistent.
Itchy is probably my oldest friend and the one I think about the most. It’s not that I try to think about Itchy. I try really, really hard not to think about her but you know how that goes. Try not to think of something and that is exactly what you think about. That’s all it takes. For example, think to yourself, “my scalp does not itch anywhere” and see what happens. You’ll be making friends with Itchy, too.
Jumpy latched onto me after Dad passed away. He used to be Dad’s best friend but got pretty lonely, I guess, once he was gone. I hear he has been making the rounds between Bill, Ann, Reed and I … and even some of our kids. He’s a very outgoing pesky kind of friend. If you see him coming down the road shut the curtains and pretend you aren’t home!
Now Grouchy is the one who comes to console me when the others visit. Grouchy tends to make me … well … grouchy. You know how it goes. You think you can build someone up and pretty soon they drag you down to their level. That’s kind of how it is with Grouchy.
I wish they’d all just go home. It’s already 3:00 in the morning. I mean how long can uninvited guests overstay their unwelcome anyway? They will probably be gone by morning but by then I will have two more visitors: Headache and Lazy. They always come by the day after these four come. I wish I’d never given out my forwarding address. It has spread like wildfire … some nights Arthritis won’t leave, others it’s Bloated or either Constipation, Diarrhea or their close friend Hemorrhoid (Now don’t ya just hate how she spells her name? I always have to look it up.) The bunch of them must just sit around all day planning who they will annoy next.
Oh well … there are a lot of other so called friends out there that I haven’t met up with and I know I am lucky not to have them. We tend to get used to our own set of troubles (Oh, did I just call them that?). No matter how many come visiting at once I know there are a lot of people who have it much worse. So don’t take this as a complaint … mostly it’s just a warning that I’m kicking them out as soon as I can and they will be looking for a place to settle. Whatever you do don’t make eye contact or I’m telling you they will cross your mind and sometimes that’s all the invitation they need.
Aarrggg … dumb post … I’m not going to erase it to remind me not to write when I stay up so late.
It’s not a dumb post. I loved it! We all can relate to this. Well written and enjoyable to read. Too bad your unwelcome guests come so often. But yes, I can certainly relate. And it’s my own fault for overeating and self-indulgence. Hang some garlic around your neck and maybe they will go away! Miss you guys. Wish we could come to see you. Maybe some day. Continue to have fun and new adventures. By the way, where are you now? I’ll call you. See ya.
I love it! I know sometimes I have uninvited guests as well. Thanks for putting a good prospective on it.
I think a lot of our uninvited guests comes with age. The older I get, the more friends I don’t need come around. I don’t look 40 and I don’t feel 40 until they show up and the worst of them all (Migraine) seems to show up the most and he’s the one I most hate! Funny how that works.