Grandma Henke

This is Jim, my nephew who has Down Syndrome, and my dad.  Jim is the son of my brother, Bill and needs constant care because of the degree of his mental retardation.   He’s living in an apartment with some of his peers and trainers see to his daily living needs and he pretty much loves life if no one messes up his routine.   He doesn’t speak, but he knows the signs for the necessities of life … like bathroom, food, goodbye.   He also knows what is his and what his schedule is supposed to be and he will let you know pretty emphatically when either has been messed with.     I believe this picture was taken the year before Dad died, which would have been 1994.     I love this picture because it shows what a special relationship the two of them had.   Jim pretty much lives in his own little world but those people he loves he really loves, and Dad was one of those people.  You could tell by his deep throated chuckle, his happy bounce and and the delight in his eyes when Dad would walk into the room.    Jim and I used to be pretty close before we moved away and nothing makes my day more than the occasional times I get to see him and he rewards me with recognition in that special way reserved for those he really loves.    Jim can’t do a lot but he’s made a difference in my life and the lives of the people who know him.

This is Jared, my other nephew with Down Syndrome.   I love this picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     of him and my sister, Ann.   It was taken at Mom’s funeral a year ago and shows the special relationship the two of them have.      Jared is what we termed “high functioning” when I worked with adults with cognitive disabilities.   He communicates well and is good at grooming and is a maticulate at cleaning house.   In fact, if you aren’t careful he will put things away before you are through with them.     Jared loves life, works at an assisted living center for seniors, and is full of love and concern for all of us in his family.    Jared and my boys were best buds growing up … still are.   There is a huge soft spot in my heart for Jared and I know I am one of his favorite people as well.

I am so grateful for the influence these two men have had in my life and for the love they freely give me.    I worked for over twenty years with adults with cognitive disabilities like Jared and Jim … and I feel fortunate to have had so many friends who love me for who I am.    They don’t care how I look, if I’ve had a bad hair day, or if I need to lose weight.   Every day I saw Susan she would say, “I prayed for you today.  Are you fine?”   Every day I saw SueDel she would say, “Do you know you are a beautiful woman?   Do you know how special you are to me?”    My desk was at the front of the office, right as you came in the front door and I never lacked for compliments and expressions of love.      How lucky can you get to work at a place like that?

I see young parents now with their children who have disabilities and I wonder if they know how hard the parents before them have fought to make a place for their children in today’s society where they will be accepted, appreciated, and merged into society.        It wasn’t that many years ago that folks like Jared, Jim, SueDel and Susan wouldn’t have been seen out in public or have the opportunity to be gainfully employed.  Hats off to those who have paved the way … and hats off to the employers who give them the chance … and hats off to the dedicated workers who assist them in daily living needs and employment training.    People with cognitive disabilities have taught me more over the years than I have ever taught them.   They are some of my favorite people.