Grandma Henke

       Okay, friends … imagine one old man who looks a little like Archie Bunker.    Those of you who are too young to imagine Archie Bunker are just outta luck, I guess.     His name is Bob and he has a little dog named Tom.     Second man looks like  a tall skinny Archie Bunker and his name is Jack.   He has a little dog named Charlie.   They have both lived in RV’s in this RV Park for over 15 years.

       Bob is the “handyman” of the RV park.    He lives in a trailer next to where we are parked and was the first neighbor to greet us when we pulled in about 5:00.  

       Bob is 72 but he looks older because he doesn’t have teeth.   Our dogs sniff at each other and Bob and I make small talk until a 3rd little dog, Charlie, shows up shortly before his owner, Jack.   Jack is a retired lumberjack.  Then he worked as a mechanic for a bunch of years.   He looks older than Bob.  

      Lynn:   “Does it rain much here?   Is the water going to puddle there in front of the door?)   He is pointing to a definite dip in the ground.  

       Jack:    “Hey Bob, how come you haven’t filled in those holes and leveled the ground here.   You need to do your job.   (Jack points to the ground in front of the door where the last resident used to have a large deck.   Bob informed me earlier that the last resident lived here three years and recently moved without notice.)

       Bob:    (Ignoring Jack and Lynn talks to me)    “Would you like to have a little porch there under the steps?   It would fix the bumpy ground.   I think I have one that would work good there for you.   Or I guess I could find some dirt to bring in … if I can find a place to dig.”

      Me:    “Ohhh!   A porch would be awesome!   Sure!”

      Bob:    (Talking to Lynn)   “Come over to the junk pile there and help me pull it out.”    There is a large pile of limbs and debris at the back of the RV park.

      Me:     Thinks of rolling eyes and sighing but doesn’t.

      Jack:    “Dammit you aren’t going to make them a porch out of that pile of crap are you?    Why don’t you hitch your truck up to that big porch by my house and pull it over here.   You could have it here in five minutes.”

      Bob:    “Jack, that porch is too too big.   I’m not about to use my truck to pull anything.   That’s my truck and it doesn’t pull things.    Just mind your own business there.”

      Jack:    “Oh come on, Bob.   It’s your job to fix things up.   Just hook up your truck and pull it over here.”

      Bob:   (Speaking slowly to Jack)    That PORCH is attached permanently to a SHED.      (Talking to Lynn)    “Get in my truck and we’ll go get you a little porch.”

      Jack:    (Talking to me)  “He’s an imbecile.   I don’t know why he doesn’t pull that other porch on over here like I told him to.    They pull things around here all the time.   I’ve seen them do it for 15 years.”

      Lynn and Bob drive across the road to the junk pile, rummage around, and come back with some boards nailed to some other boards and wrestle it out of the truck.   They put it in front of our front steps while Jack berates Bob about not doing his job.

      Jack:    “You better hammer those nails in.    Somebody will get hurt on those nails.   You’re going to have to put some blocks under the corner or it will wobble.   I don’t know why you didn’t just pull that good one over here.   This one is a piece of junk.”

      Bob looks around and comes up with two very small pieces of block and puts them under the wood to level it.   He hands Lynn the hammer and then hops on the  “porch” to show it no longer wobbles.

   About this time Guenver, who owns the RV park with her husband Egiil,  shows up with a narrow piece of carpet that she said we could put on our porch.     “It’s the least I could do”.   (?)  What more could a person want?   Perhaps the scrap of floor mat Bob found and set in front of the “porch” to catch the dirt.

 

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and excuse myself to go inside to put things away.  My new acquaintances go home.     A few minutes later I hear a knock on the door.   It is Bob.

Bob:    “Not that I want to be a busy body but Jack likes to sit home and suck on Vodka all day.   Then he likes to come around and argue with me.   I try to avoid him every day.    He drives me nuts.”

Me:    “Thanks, Bob, I’ll remember that.

Bob:    “Just thought you’d want to know.”

Me:     “Thanks.”