Grandma Henke

I noticed Lynn has been defragmenting my computer.   It shows that there are a lot of … uh … what look like dead spaces in its brain.   It even has a message that says “some files cannot be defragmented.”    Whoa … that’s sad.

I wish I could walk into some kind of clinic and plug myself into some kind of machine that would do that for me … defragment my brain.   I think there are a lot of dead spaces lately that are locked in by some weird files that I didn’t intend to save.       I think there is so much fragmented information in there that it is taking a lot longer for the little messengers to run around and find the correct files … and a lot of them have passwords I seem to have forgotten.   

My problem is I don’t know when to quit when I start a project.    I don’t know what ever happened to “slow and steady wins the race” but with me it’s always “do it ’til you drop”.    It’s not a good system.     I never quite get the project finished before the crash occurs because I lift too much, stand too long, and stay awake too long for days … then I’m wiped out for several days and can’t accomplish anything.   I know this about myself but darned if I can change my habits.    That’s one of the reasons why I need to be defragmented.

My brain runs much farther into the night than my body does.   It doesn’t seem to have an “off” switch sometimes, which can be a real problem.  So sometimes I pull all night sessions writing and don’t even realize it until I notice it’s daylight outside.     That’s not healthy, you know?

Another problem that defragmenting might help is that once I have crashed on a project, it’s hard to get back to it.   Like my book … it is so close … and I’ve had two crashes in a row after two all night edit sessions that got saved wrong.    I haven’t been back to it since.    I don’t know if defragmenting would help that or not.

When files on my computer don’t work Lynn calls them corrupt.   He’s never called me corrupt, thank goodness.   That would hurt my feelings.   But do you ever wonder why it is you can know something that you need to do, have the time to do it, and you just plain tell yourself “no way?”  There’s got to be a loose chip or wire somewhere when that happens.   I give myself the instructions at night as I am falling asleep … “Tomorrow you will 1) …. 2) …. 3) …. before you can do 4) or 5).”   First thing I know I am done with 4) and 5) and it didn’t even cross my mind to do 1, 2, and 3.   That’s not right.   I have completely disobeyed my own command.  So then there is no choice.   I have to put myself in “time out” for disobedience.   That takes the rest of the day sometimes.

Another problem I’m noticing lately is that if the power goes out … I don’t seem to have a back up battery.     Can defragmenting help that or do I need a new power source.    Lynn plugs the computers into a surge protector …  I don’t need that.   I could use a little surge now and then.

Maybe I need to re-boot, but that sounds kind of risky at my age.   I wouldn’t like to shut everything off on the chance that it would all work better when it is restarted.      There’s got to be a solution to it all, but I’m afraid it is just too costly and time consuming to find it.   I guess I will just have to try to baby the old machine and get out of it what I can … since I don’t know where there is human “fragmenter” available.   If you hear of one … let me know.