Grandma Henke

I finally made a profit on my doggy hair cutting business. I’ve cut enough “do’s” to pay for the expensive equipment I bought last September. You can’t just run to K-Mart and buy dog clippers on sale … and when you fork over the $200 for the clippers then you have to buy the blades and clip ons, the special brush, the special rounded scissors, and the special toe nail trimmers. It would be good if you could also afford the special high speed hair dryer that blows the water and curl right out of the hair … but I have to share my personal hairdryer with the business and it doesn’t do so well

I’ve decided I’m glad I only have one customer … me. It takes a lot longer to buzz a Bichon than it does to buzz eight little boys for the summer. I remember the last day of school each year when my boys and all their friends lined up for their summer buzz. It was hard to tell them all apart from behind. One year I gave them their buzz and then went to the hospital for some surgery. When I got out one of the neighbor dad’s had shaved all the little boys. Here in the desert that gets to be a bit of a problem … trying to keep all their heads from cooking in the sun.

Anyway … back to the topic at hand … It’s hard to be a dog groomer! I don’t think I charge enough. I’ve been charging the going rate, which is $45.00 for a shampoo, cut, and the whole works … then I give myself a $5.00 tip. It takes me four hours by the time I’ve first brushed out the tangles, scissored the head and cleaned the ears … then sudsed her up, rinsed her good, dried her, and then the buzz. I get hair in my ears and nose, down my shirt and all over my pants … “Note to self … get a plastic apron with pockets”. I’m thinking of charging more … since I do such a good job now that I’ve had all this practice. Then I can buy a better hair dryer.

Actually I have two customers if I count clipping FiFi’s (the cat) claws … which I have been doing for free for the last 10 years. I should charge hazardous pay for her because she is so feisty. It’s much more dangerous doing her. The dog’s biggest act of defiance is to lay down on her belly and refuse to stand up. The cat spits and hisses and threatens to kill me. I should take out liability insurance in case I have to sue myself if she actually attacks. Of course, it’s hard to get water out of a dry well.

Ah … but it’s worth it. Little Lady is right here beside me as I write … and she’s always beside me. She is loyal and true even though she never comes when I call her and hates to go outside or use the bathroom if people are anywhere on the property. She is very modest and likes to do her thing in the bathroom on a doggy mat … in the dark … unless she decides to do it on the doggy mat in the downstairs hall in the dark. I think (knock on keys of plastic) she has finally passed the stage of pooping in the TV room in the dark (where we finally gave in and put another doggy mat). Now THAT was annoying! Now the next phase is to see if we can get her closer to the back door and eventually into the back yard. She isn’t afraid of outside if I’m out there with her … but remember … she won’t do her duty if anyone, and I mean anyone is on the property.

She looks so cute sleeping here beside me on the sofa. She’s making little growly sounds in her sleep and running a race of some kind. She sleep barks a lot … poor little wimpy girl dog. At night she must be some ferocious guard dog or cat chaser. In her dreams she becomes the boss of FiFi … only in her dreams. I love her … and I love FiFi … and I will groom them until the bitter end … but please don’t tell anyone I know how. I don’t want any more customers than I’ve already got.

If you are seriously considering grooming your own Bichon … you need to check out this site.

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