Grandma Henke

Poor Ozzy, my 7 year old canine buddy. He’s a Bischon. I got him because I fell in love with the Bischon who took Best of Show in the National Championships. Every hair was in place, sparkling white, prancing little steps, well mannered. But, wouldn’t you know, my pick of the litter was born with the mentality of “Tramp”, the big time doggy actor who prefers junk yards and dirt over class and beauty. Because of this, and because we live in the land of the red dirt and stickers, Ozzy has to have haircuts very regularly and they are expensive.

After the last $40 check I forked over for his “buzz” I thought to myself, “I can do that!” After all, I buzzed my three boys and all their little friends every summer for fifteen years. So we contacted the Petco grooming department and asked them about pet clippers and were given some good advice and places to shop online. The lady there also told me to make sure we get a size 10 blade. You can order the clippers with any size blade, so we ordered it in size 10 as instructed. They came yesterday and I took Ozzy into my bathroom and proceeded to buzz away. As the curly white hair fell to the floor I thought it was kind of like sheering sheep and I remembered the trips Dad and I took with our sheep in the back of the truck to Uncle Rube’s every spring when I was a child. I remembered the ram we had to butcher because Uncle Rube accidently cut it’s throat with the shears … and I slowed down my clipping.

Ozzy’s hair looked kind of short to me but then what do I know … I just buzzed away and left a tuft at the end of his tail and longer hair on his face and head. I admit it didn’t look quite right but I thought that maybe bathing him would help. I put him in the sink and lathered him up with doggy shampoo and that’s when I realized … I was washing skin. I was washing a bald dog! What little hair there was there all but disappeared under the water and all that was left was … skin!

I took him in to Lynn, my husband, who had ordered the clippers, and said “Something isn’t quite right here, dear. Look at Ozzy.” He had the good grace not to laugh.

A little more research online led us to find that the #10 blade is for tummies and rear ends (doggy rear ends of course), not for bodies. A size #4 blade leaves about 3/8 inch of hair … that is for the body. I wonder if they make doggy sunscreen.