I take my woofing little dog a little more seriously here in the forest when she suddenly sits up and growls menacingly out the sliding glass window that steps out onto the covered porch.    The other day this happened when she was stretched atop the back of the sofa  and Lynn and I decided, without getting up to look for ourselves, that she was “barking at her reflection from the glass doors” again.    Moments later I was sitting reclined in front of the side window that looks toward the trees by the street when movement outside of the side window caught my eye and I looked up to see what I first thought was the neighbor’s dog.    However, as soon as it stepped completely out from behind the bush that has grown up to where it interferes a little with my view, I received a wonderful gift from. nature when it looked directly at me for a moment   I could see clearly, all the way from the beautiful tufted ears, to the defined stripes around its eyes and nose, on down to the bobcat’s stubby tail.   (This picture is courtesy of http://www.weforanimals.com./ )  It looked bigger than those I’ve seen next to the tigers and lions at the zoo.    By the time Lynn made it to the window our cat had stealthily crept the length of the lawn and was headed into the trees at the front of the property.      There wasn’t time to pull out the camera but we have since removed it from its case and have it sitting readily on a nearby shelf.

There’s been a lot of disturbing noise from the property behind this house as lumbermen have mercilessly “clear cut” the large trees that lined the back border and the acres behind us.     It has created a homeless situation among the wildlife that have been our neighbors   I feel sad when I think of their homes being destroyed; especially with winter blowing in so quickly.   I can’t help but wonder where all of my furry little friends will go from here.    We’ve seen squirrels, deer, and possums, and we suspect we have a midnight raccoon but we haven’t yet spotted the neighborhood’s black bears. Needless to say we are taking good care of our garbage and keeping a close eye and a short leash on little poochie while she takes care of “business”.  

We are loving our stay in the woods.     It’s different living where the skies are grey and it rains more than it doesn’t, but it has been comfortable … and healing.   As I write this I’m sitting by a crackling fire listening to the cadence of the rain that counts along with the 4/4 timing of the keyboard as I type.   The rain and I are the perfect accompaniment to the Tabernacle Choir’s rendition of “Sleigh bells”.  The stately pine trees are even swaying in sync.    I just love it, love it, love it!    A huge, from deep in the heart thank you to Warren’s friend, Tracy Green, for trusting us with his mother’s home for a few months.   Anyone would feel good here!

I have to tell you the cutest thing EVER!   I have a semi anti-social cat who has been queen of the roost for over 13 years and a sweet, sort of timid little dog who has been afraid of the cat ever since she came to us three years ago.   Yesterday I was walking from the bedroom to the front of the house and Fresca wagged her tail at me, ran to the door of the utility and laid down so she could look into it.    I walked past her and she came running down the hall and wagged her tail and whimpered a tiny bit and ran back and laid back down in front of the utility hall.    I went to the door and couldn’t hear or see anything so I petted her and walked on down the hall.   The third time she did it I decided there was definitely something about that hall that she wasn’t liking so I went back and turned the light on and listened and to my surprise, I heard FiFi meow from the garage.   She’d slipped out there when the door was opened and couldn’t get back in and Fresca was telling me.      You may not think it was all that cute, but I thought it was awesome.   I love when I can see how animals think and sort through things in their heads and try to communicate with us people.  

I’ve been enjoying my grandchildren a lot the last couple of months since I’ve felt better.     Aren’t grandchildren just the best invention ever?  EVER?   And how blessed am I to have 17 of them?   They motivate me to try harder … to be the best I can be.   

This month had one very exciting thing happen.   One of my dear friends (and her husband) from the past … I mean from the WAY past … came to visit us.    We hadn’t seen each other in probably 25 years and yet, the minute she walked in the door it was just like old times.    Within seconds we were hugging and laughing and that old friendship picked up almost in mid sentence from when we moved from Blanding so many years ago.  I have been reflecting since then how blessed I am to have met the wonderful women in my life who have befriended me.    I have so much to be thankful for.

Still no medicine to stop the advancement of the disease.   That’s one of those “waitings” I was talking about earlier.    It seems to me like the people working on that are moving in slow motion.   They are on a different time frame than I am.    I shouldn’t say that … it’s not the people.  The people have been kind and helpful.  It’s the system that doesn’t seem to care about the person.   But we will keep hoping it will be approved. 

I guess that’s about it … I’m doing a lot of reading and unfortunately, not much writing.   I try to wake up the brain but it’s foggy in there but I will keep trying.  

I’m doing pretty well “on the one hand”; that hand being that I am able to go for rides in the car, walk through a store most weeks, have my grandchildren over, read, crochet, use my computer, laugh and enjoy life with my man etc.    And I am very grateful to feel as good as I do have the medical advances on my side.      I am not depressed, which is such a blessing because I have known depression and I would rather cope with illness than that.   Not to say I don’t get down … but I also get up and that is a wonderful feeling.

Now “the other hand” would be my frustrations and perhaps insecurities about all the changes in my life and wondering if or when I will be able to take on some projects again … like clean the heck out of some of my closets or book shelves, or bath and brush out the dog.    It’s frustrating to me to not be able to make the travel plans or to run up to SLC to see family.          I’m still waiting on the PAH medication but I can’t take it unless I get the approval from the insurance company because it is just too costly and I refuse to go into debt to the tune of $4,000 a month.  

There are so many good support groups found through the Internet, both for the person with the illness and their family members.    Years ago I had used another group for a health problem of one of our children.    When you are able to talk to people who are experiencing what you are experiencing it seems to validate your feelings differently and I have found it to be very encouraging.    I also have felt good about, in turn, helping other people who are new to the situation and seem at such a loss as to where to turn first.    For me, online support is preferable to a standard support group at this point in time because that would mean getting cleaned up and having to go somewhere, which is very tiring.   The place I use now is  http://www.phcentral.org.   It is also a wonderful resource for family members and friends who want to know what this disease is about.   There is another great source of help at http://www.phassociation.org.      They have an annual conference that I would like to go to.

I am fortunate because I also have a large family, caring neighbors and friends, and my blog and my new friends here.    Actually, how much better can it get.    When I used to work with people with disabilities we used to help them make charts that helped them visualize dreams to work for and it showed them who was in their support system.   It consisted of a picture (drawn or a photo) of them in the middle and then all around that person would be pictures of their family, friends, coworkers, health care people, school teachers, and coaches.   Around the outside of that would be pictures of the things they want to work for.    As I have been writing this I have imagined one of those with everyone surrounding me.    I suddenly had an epitomy of how it might must have helped them.    It feels like a big warm blanket of love and makes you feel you can handle anything.     Thank you everyone!   Just knowing you are out there is encouraging.    You don’t even have to say anything!

I wish I would take my own advice more often.   I know a lot of stuff.  I seem to know a plethora of stuff because of all the reading and living I do.    Oh yes, I have plenty of “know how”.   What I seem to not have enough of is “follow through” or I would be thin, healthy, wealthy, organized, and living in a home with a yard from Better Homes and Gardens.    So … here’s the free, simple advice.   

Although it’s good (important even) to study and  learn all you can, it is what you do with what you know that makes the difference.

Yesterday I sat in the car while Lynn ran into a store.   I had all of the windows rolled up and the sun wrapped its arms around me and gave me a big hug.    Oh man I love that kind of warm!    I think I’ll do it again tomorrow!

Little girl dog is sitting here right beside me as always.     Sometimes it’s hard for me to actually remember she’s not human.     I don’t know whose mind is bending to meet the other; whether it’s hers or mine the connection we have is uncanny.     I’ve no idea how to judge what her IQ is, but besides having a very remarkable vocabulary, she can spell TREAT, OUTSIDE, BED, HUNGRY and CAR.     That’s not bad for someone whose native language is Canine.     I just love the feel of her warm little body next to me … like a sweet little heating pad.   

I’ve told myself not to think about breathing but I still think about it most of the day.   It’s kind of hard to ignore the whole procedure when there is an oxygen tube hanging from the middle of my face.    I mean the middle of my face!    Could it be any more “in your face” than that?    I think it would have been a good design to put our nose holes on the back of our necks where they wouldn’t cause so much trouble.   It would have been a lot messier to blow them but you would be a lot less apt to stick them into other people’s business, and it definitely would have been easier to wear oxygen and not have a hose between you and everything you go to do.   Hey, but I’m not complaining.    Well, I am complaining, but I don’t want to.   Maybe I will have to come up with some kind of nifty thing like running the hose up beneath the back of my shirt and around my neck.    I’d have to secure it somehow so it wouldn’t creep around to the front, and then I’d have to remember to turn as many times to the left as I do to the right or I could have a whole different kind of problem to face.

Uh oh, time out here!    There are either two spiders in the corner of the ceiling or I am hallucinating.    I’ve been watching these shadows for a couple of minutes now and I’m about ready to go for the broom.   Who am I kidding, the thought of doing anything to those two blobs on the ceiling creeps me out.       The older I get the more those crawly/scampery things creep me out.   I think it’s because I have to get so close to see what it actually is that I almost have to look into their beady, little, orbital eyes.   And they move fast when they’ve a mind to move.         I wonder how wide the yellow streak down my back will be in another fifteen years? (I can always camouflage it with an oxygen tube.)

Well, ten minutes later and I’ve made my decision.    I’m going to bed (my bedroom is clear on the other side of the house).   If the blobs are still there in the morning I’ll whack the tar out of them (sorry to you folks who are spider lovers).    I really would do it tonight, but I’m afraid that with every whack of the broom I will let out a shriek … that’s how it usually ends … and I don’t want to wake up the cute girls in my guest bed.

Good night John Boy …

I don’t know why these pictures have so much space between … don’t think it is over until you go scroll down to the bottom.
This needlework picture caught my eye … since it is hanging right to the left of the door of our motor home.   It’s almost 44 years old now.

I didn’t know what was just outside my window until Lynn opened blinds to show me.    I almost fainted dead away!     Lynn assures me he intended to get that close.    I think he’s “cuckoo”.         

I didn’t notice the full page of rules for the RV Park in Wendell until we were leaving.  I think I broke more than a few of them. 

#1.   Keep off the grass!   This means everyone and every dog and it means all of the grass!

#15  Please keep your children under control at all times.   Parents are liable for any damage done by them, including any damage to the restrooms.

#21.  You are responsible for your visitors.

#26  Owners/management will not be responsible for loss, theft, or damage to personal property or injury of any kind to any persons in this park.

But, here is my very favorite, a note about the restrooms and showers 

“You may unlock the door by using the edge of a coin to turn the small slot on the end of the door handle.”   

NOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE!

On Sundays I often count my blessings.    Not that I’m not aware of my blessings on the other six days of the week, because in general I think I’m a grateful person.   But, on Sundays, it is quiet and peaceful, and I think back over the years of my life and  I realize that as a child I was totally unaware of the people around me who were such a blessing in my life or of the circumstances of my relatively carefree life.     I suppose that’s how most children are … blissfully living in a tiny corner of a big world.    At least children who live in some parts of the world.   

And then we grow up and eventually we see the difference and hear about sad things in other parts of the world than our comfortable little space.  And on Sundays,  when I start thinking and writing about my all of this, I always I wish I could share some of my blessings with them:

I wish every place in the world had hot and cold running water in their house.

I wish every living quarter had sturdy floors, walls, and roof.

I wish every person had adequate bedding and a soft pillow to lay their head on at night.

I wish every home had a fridge with milk for their children and a cupboard full of food for them to prepare.

I wish every home had the opportunity to worship however they want, but that they also had the opportunity to hear and read about God and Jesus Christ.

I wish every family in the world had access to medical help.

I wish every father had a way to support his family, one that would build within him a strong self esteem because of his hard work.

I wish every mother had the option of staying at home with her children.

I wish every woman in the world was treated gently and kindly, and felt valued and loved.

I wish every child lived in a home where love was spoken and there were no dangerous shadows and corners with anger and abuse.

I wish every child had a school full of books and crayons and pictures.

I wish all children could dream of an attainable future.

I wish all this would happen because that’s how people wanted it to be be, not because of wars and laws.

Please, God, bless the people in the world who are in need.   Help those of us who have to be more aware of ways we can make a difference.

We’ve been remembering … and remembering … those we love who are gone, those we love who aren’t gone … those we love who have loved and fought for their country both through wars, and through righteous living and hard work.

This week the motor home was meticulously washed and waxed by Angi and Steve … We have been packing and unpacking and packing …

The roof isn’t finished but you can see how it will look.    It isn’t going to be done before we want to leave …

Today we got more insulation blown into the attic but I forgot to take a picture of the big truck and the hot, HOT workers.

The temperature around here is moving well past the hundred mark … Time to move on …

       Work has started on our new roof.    Tiles and wood strips have been removed and tomorrow they start the rebuilding.    Soon we will be known as the house with the red steel roof.    As soon as we get back from our summer voyage I’m going to get the same color of paint for the doors.  

       Speaking of voyage … We are now counting down on our fingers!   Ten days and we should be on the road!    We and little girl dog are excited for the trip.    I am determined to keep a better journal of it this year.    Last year I got too caught up in relaxing!

       I’m already missing CSI, Criminal Minds, Law and Order Criminal Intent, and NCIS and just for the record, I hate when the season ends with cliff hangers!     It makes you wonder where Medium is headed as the older daughter begins to move into more and more psychic episodes of her own.    Personally I’m glad “24” is over … probably forever.    I don’t even think I’ll miss good ole Jack Bauer the wonder, cape-less super hero.  

       Thank you, Mark, for sending Lynn the machine to keep his legs iced.  Two months down the road from surgery he is doing remarkably well!   This past week he’s started doing amazingly well.    He is up and about most of the day, practically walking like a normal person.    Occasionally I have to remind him to bend his knees when he reminds me of the Gestapo, but that doesn’t happen very often anymore.     

       I’m having this thing with “time” lately.    It rolls around me and suddenly it’s another week, another month … another year.    I was always told it moves faster the older you get and they were right.    To me it seems to spin at an accelerated rate while it flirts around my grandchildren slowly so they can learn, smell the roses, see the butterflies and rainbows, and play in the sunbeams.    Time is soooo … mysterious.